“Listen With Godfather”

In the spirit of the Christmas season, ‘Listen with Godfather’ reflects on the pantomime story of Snow White, and is best read with an understanding of the classic radio broadcast, ‘Listen With Mother’; reading it and hearing it with a ‘Scottish accent in New York’ will bring a good sense of fun.

Voice:             ‘And now, it is time to settle down, put the weapons away, and listen with Godfather.

Godfather;     Right, youse guys, today I’m gonna tell youse a story about this broad called Snow-White and her wicked stepmother. Now we in the mafia know about godfathers, but I tell you guys, this writer is hard. He has real tough females.

                        Well, this stepmother tries to bump off Snow-White on accounta the kid just bugs her, but Diamond Doc and his gang- seven of ‘em, and they’re little, but gutsy- they rescue the kid and take her to live with them. On the level, ‘cos this ain’t no Lolita story. They just like the kid around, cleaning a bit and singing songs at them.

                        Then the stepmother finds her. She don’t go for nothin’ like the machine gun in the cake, or the speeding taxi. She’s got real class, this dame. She sends the kid poisoned combs and stuff. Being dumb, the Snow-White broad falls for the lot, only Diamond Doc and his gang are sharp, and they manage to save her stupid life every time.

                        Then one day, wham! She gets hers, with a bit of apple, no less. So Diamond Doc says, ‘Fellas, we’re goin’ to see that this kid goes the classy way,’ and they put her in this glass overcoat. So a young lunkhead with nothing better to do comes along, and falls in love with the stiff. Snatches the body, and kisses it- I tell ya, this writer don’t pull no punches!

                        Anyway, Snow-White ain’t a dame to miss out on a chance to get off the shelf, so she comes round but fast, and gives lunkhead the eye.

                        While they’re walkin’ up the aisle together, the Diamond Doc gang get a hold of the stepmother and they-

                        Uh, fellas, I guess this story’s too frightening for youse guys. I mean, guys kissin’ stiffs, and poisoned apples, and all. Better you should hear a more restful story. Now, there’s the one about this kid in a red track-suit, and she’s taking a file in a cake to her old woman, and she meets up with this wolf….

Wishing everyone a peaceful and happy Christmas

Evelyn Hood

Copyright Evelyn Hood